Anger Management

I know I'm going to regret writing in here rather than studying for calc, but I can't concentrate.

I realized that I get annoyed really easily. I'm a huge baby. If something doesn't go my way, I'll try my best to make it go my way. And if that fails, I'll probably cry. I get mad at Wilson nearly every day. Most of the times I tell myself to get over it, and I actually do cool off in about 5 minutes. Young and I made New Year's Resolutions together. Well the only thing on our list is: to not start any fights with our boyfriends for at least two weeks. Sounds pretty pathetic, but it's been really hard. Our reward is to eat at Pinnacle Peak, but so far, I haven't been anywhere near even a week. I always feel the need to suppress my anger, and that's something I'm not good at since I'm a crybaby. There are so many things that bother me right now, and I'll just list them out since this is a secret journal that only two people read:
-The mexican (not to be racist) girls in my group who bailed on filming and are now pissed off since Valith and I filmed without them. Super pathetic. They think that Valith and I are trying to screw them over. I would like to, but of course I'm not that mean.
-Not getting a Christmas present from Wilson yet. I mean, I spent two months planning and initiating my plan. On top of that, I skipped meals just so I could afford what I thought would be the best Birthday/Christmas gift ever. He didn't even seem to like it that much, and on top of that, he went with his dad, not me. I saw it coming, but I really, really wanted to go with him. It's too late for that now. It's almost Winter Formal and Valentine's Day, and I still have to explain to people that I didn't get a single thing from my own boyfriend for Christmas. Honestly, even a card saying I O U on it would've made me feel a bit better. Way to make me feel loved.
-I already mentioned this--Controlling my temper/mood swings
-Colleges. I still don't feel like I got accepted to any where. My junior grades were the worst and my SATs were definitely not the best.
-I feel quite ugly these days. Physically and mentally. Just a big dirty feeling that I think church and some good prayer would be able to cleanse.
-Immature and rude people

What is wrong with me??!?@##$% =(

I'm not as emotional as I sound, but my mind keeps wandering and these little annoying thoughts just keep popping in my little head.

I need some good food and a hug. And some A's on my report card.

I just thought about how Mr. Laging cried when we supposedly played American Elegy really well. Haha. Band is a joke now. I don't think I would've stuck with band if Liz wasn't in it. She even makes 2 hour band final periods somewhat enjoyable and less torturous by making me laugh uncontrollably in the middle of playing songs. Thanks Elizabeth<3

I'm tired, and I'll resume studying calc for our second to last final in our high school career.