11:11

Make a wish!

I wish.. that one day I will be frolicking in the tall grass with the wind blowing in my hair while I leap into the arms of my future husband.


I just want to be happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! and to move out of my house....and to take naps where I want when I want!


I'm so sick of my so called home/house. I still love my room since it's my private area, but everything else just sucks. My stepmom was talking about her case of depression with my dad. I was totally eavesdropping, but she said something about how it was a serious sickness that couldn't be helped. BULL SH!T. People who have to take zoloft, purple pills, or whatever the hell it may be are, in my eyes, just too sorry for themselves to do anything about the situation they're in. The funniest part was that my dad laughed about it and got up and headed straight to the wii.


I secretly think blogging is lame....
but i still do it ???@?@?!@#/////1!?!

This just looks like a re-run.

Please, what else is on?



"Build your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain."

Bad Habit

and all at once the crowd begins to sing
sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.


break these chains.

RIP

I was changing my hermit crabs' water when I realized one was lopsided. Needless to say, it died. How depressing..

To the bottom is my dream puppy.
It's a Maltipoo (Maltese + Poodle).
Just looking at it makes me happy.

Finally..

I wish I had more days like today. It was a really "clutch" decision to go to the praise night with Liz, Dong, and Carder. The speakers and the last azn band were all really good. And my favorite part of the night was eating the uber delicious tacos. I'm still craving some more authentic Mexican tacos!

Oh..and I conquered my fear of heights!..kinda. I'm pretty proud of myself for climbing up that jungle gym. =)


Sitting, waiting, wishing.

And She Will Be Loved

I don't mind spending every day
out on your corner in the pouring rain.


School is a big, fat boar.


Last Sunday: PERSEVERANCE

Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight..

I wanna be with you tonight.



I don't want to waste any more time.

BIG, FAT

S
I
G
H
!

=T

Fall down 100 times..

Get up 100 times.

H0w L4m3!!!!!!!11

Lamest Thing I Heard:
w iL L1E xP (11:02:00 PM): you have to comment my blog

nicebonbons (11:02:30 PM): y

w iL L1E xP (11:02:53 PM): because i want to read a comment

w iL L1E xP (11:02:56 PM): and no one comments me

I've decided that instead of getting baptized this Easter, I'm going to wait. There's no reason to rush and do it this spring break, plus, I've only gone to GCCI less than 10 times. I want to get to know everyone before I give my testimony. I'm sort of bummed out with my decision, but I gave it a lot of thought. I guess everything that's worth while should be worth the wait!

On a brighter note, I had an interesting day. I wish I had a camera with me when I was in Marc Jacobs. Honestly, I saw the most hideous "dresses" and "shirts" for $300+, and wondered who in the world would buy them. I'm going to go back one day, and make a documentary about how people are addicted and sick in the head for splurging on tacky clothes. I'll admit that some things were nice looking, but most I made fun of.

I love crunchy roll and cheesecake! :)

And when I move into my dorm, I'm gonna go back to the..

and buy some of Todd's funny posters.

I'm too tired to finish my entry. SO GOOD BUY.

RANT RANT RANTTTTTTTTT!

Besides the fact that I think school is a big fat waste of time, the only other reason why I don't like school even more is because of my peers. I really don't understand how people can be so full of themselves. Like today during our less than 1 hour sectional after school, the only people complaining were the leaders. JUST SUCK IT UP. It wasn't even that bad, and obviously we wouldn't have a sectional in the first place if we could actually play. I mean yeah, it's annoying how Mr. Laging has no life and expects our lives to revolve around band, band, and some more band, but it's not like the complainers had anything better to do.

Rant number 2: Why do some people find it so hard to wish others happiness? It's ok to tell a friend, "No! What you're doing is wrong," and for him/her to do something 10 times worse. I'll keep this vague since my rant revolves around one person.

I'm not going to be so fake anymore. Not as in Laura Kung fake, but as in being super kind to people who are jerks and don't deserve it.

I've been having really good days. I broke all of my lent, but I'm still going to keep it up.

I want a 24 pass now!!! My love handles are embarrassing. =(

This is one of my favorite pictures.
We're all sweaty and ugly =)

"Truthfully.."

After hanging out with Liz and reading her blog, I felt like updating, so here I go..

I'm so thankful for Elizabeth. I really have no effing idea what I'd be doing if I didn't have her in my life. The best feeling with any friendship or relationship is being able to feel comfortable. Hell, we can even fart in front of each other..no joke. I think even more importantly is that we see eye to eye. Sometimes I think this is so weird, but whatever I think, she says, and vice versa. It's like ESPN or something. I enjoy her company in everything we do, even when it's nothing. <3

I feel really bad that I already broke lent about 4 times, but I'm going to strive to follow my no fast food/sodas/candy rule. It's going to be a long 34 more days..

From now on, I'm going to try and post a picture every time I update. Today's picture was taken on the way home from Harvest Crusade. I really like it because we're all laughing whole-heartedly. =)

I had

a wonderful time at formal. Saturday really showed me the mature side of Wilson. I'm glad that instead of getting freaky out on the dance floor, we had a great time conversing the entire night. I mean, it's not every dance you find a couple talking the night away, but it was much needed after we had so many pointless arguments and annoying bickers these past few months. Pointing out the dates who were "dancing", or rather dry humping, gave us a good laugh. Although sometimes he seems to be all talk and nothing more, I'm glad that during formal, we did nothing more than simply talk. Things seem to finally be on track again, and I'm just really grateful.

ps. I'm the Literati champion =)

A promise made

is a debt unpaid.

Super Tuesday! :)

Today really was a super day. My favorite days are ones that require little thinking and brain usage, and that would be today.

Don't you just love when your opponent plays the exact card you want them to play? and then you sick own them right after. I'd say Ducky and I did exceedingly well on our debate. I'm happy.

My new lunch addiction are chicken and rice burritos con Tapatio.
Random fact: In 8th grade, a select few 8th graders (including myself) were chosen to "test" the El Extremo burritos. All we had to do was eat them and then state whether they were good or not and why/why not. And we got a cool free red shirt that I never wore since it screamed "EL EXTREMO" in huge letters.

Today's basketball game wasn't as exciting as the last LA vs Wilson game, but at least we won. I always happen to miss the coolest plays of every game. =T

I really like that "Don't stop the music" song by Rihanna. I heard it twice on the radio today. Lucky me.

And I chewed three pieces of gum today. Soooo bad for my already messed up jaw. :[

My mom voted for Hilary..only because she's a woman. How dumb! I only know about Barack since I spent 3 hours last night researching and reading his booklet for the debate. And while I was trying to find reasons to not vote for Obama, I came across the stupidest reason ever:
Because of his NAME.
Barack-Similar to Iraq
Hussein-Sadam Hussein
Obama- Osama Bin Laden
You get the jist of it. What a big, fat -_-.
You have to admit, he's pretty good looking for a presidential candidate!

Enough "bloggin". Time 4 hwzx. BUH-BYE (B. SCOTT STYLE)!

!@#$%

I missed church today, and I'm feeling awfully useless. I didn't even have a good reason for skipping except for the fact that I woke up 20 minutes late, even when Andrew called me. I feel even worse about it because I promised Rachel I'd go every Sunday. Damn. it. I. Suck.

I'm on a streak for killing streaks.

We are responsible

for our own actions...and needs, desires, feelings, and everything else right? I guess it's time to change some (or a lot of) things around.

I hate the heater. It makes my nose even stuffier
And these mood swings are just killing me.
Crazy emotions are running wildly right through me.

I don't want to sleep. I'm not even tired, but I don't want to sleep even more because I have to wake up at about 5. Waking up has suddenly become one of the most difficult things for me to do. I remember back in 7th grade, I'd wake up at 2 AM to start/finish Chon Lee's projects. Then I would be all wired during the day, but I'd still be functioning.

TGIAF
Fridays and Saturdays are my favorite days of the week.
Tomorrow shall be an adventure. I love adventures!

Screw School. I'd Rather Be Cool.

My favorite grade from k-12 would have to be 8th. I'm sure most girls would say the same since those were the good SLLAMERRSTC days. Plus, we were in that bs "leadership class" and always ended up having 2 lunches, which were my favorites. I miss DC trip too. There was a crap load of scandalous drama that I'll never forget, but it was all soooo fun. Too bad senior year couldn't live up to my expectations. Maybe I set them too high, but this year is one of my least favorites. And as everyone has repeatedly said and from what I've repeatedly heard, marching season was a complete joke. I don't know what went wrong, but obviously we couldn't fix the problem(s). 10th place and rejected by Disneyland? Wow, band truly is a joke. The only thing I like about this year is that I can drive, and maybe that my mom is a lot more chill. And I like having the luxury to skip school whenever I want with my bad grl.

Hopefully college will be wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better.

I'm only looking forward to tanning and learning to "walk" from JK tomorrow.

I'm sick of being sick, and I hate being Ms. Moody Bitch.

I need some Ricola, Vick's Vapor Rub, and school's French Vanilla.

PMS?

Due to popular demand, I will update. =)

Today was the ultimate bitch day,
but I got the job done thanks to Amy.
I also listened to Amy's wonderful (horrible) singing to happy songs by Ingrid Michaelson.
Ingrid is such an ugly name, but she's got some pretty songs.
This is my favorite:

I could write my name by the age of three,
and I don't need anyone to cut my meat for me.
I'm a big girl now, see my big girl shoes.
It'll take more than just a breeze to make me
Fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard.
Fall overboard just so you can catch me.


I know for sure that I don't have strep throat.
But I'm not for sure that I don't have mono.
And I'm too lazy to reword my poorly worded sentence.

Secretly..I want to be Miss America/Universe. :XXXX

I wish I wasn't so moody right now.
Good thing I have the ability to sleep things off.

I'm done with this random update. K BYE!

Anger Management

I know I'm going to regret writing in here rather than studying for calc, but I can't concentrate.

I realized that I get annoyed really easily. I'm a huge baby. If something doesn't go my way, I'll try my best to make it go my way. And if that fails, I'll probably cry. I get mad at Wilson nearly every day. Most of the times I tell myself to get over it, and I actually do cool off in about 5 minutes. Young and I made New Year's Resolutions together. Well the only thing on our list is: to not start any fights with our boyfriends for at least two weeks. Sounds pretty pathetic, but it's been really hard. Our reward is to eat at Pinnacle Peak, but so far, I haven't been anywhere near even a week. I always feel the need to suppress my anger, and that's something I'm not good at since I'm a crybaby. There are so many things that bother me right now, and I'll just list them out since this is a secret journal that only two people read:
-The mexican (not to be racist) girls in my group who bailed on filming and are now pissed off since Valith and I filmed without them. Super pathetic. They think that Valith and I are trying to screw them over. I would like to, but of course I'm not that mean.
-Not getting a Christmas present from Wilson yet. I mean, I spent two months planning and initiating my plan. On top of that, I skipped meals just so I could afford what I thought would be the best Birthday/Christmas gift ever. He didn't even seem to like it that much, and on top of that, he went with his dad, not me. I saw it coming, but I really, really wanted to go with him. It's too late for that now. It's almost Winter Formal and Valentine's Day, and I still have to explain to people that I didn't get a single thing from my own boyfriend for Christmas. Honestly, even a card saying I O U on it would've made me feel a bit better. Way to make me feel loved.
-I already mentioned this--Controlling my temper/mood swings
-Colleges. I still don't feel like I got accepted to any where. My junior grades were the worst and my SATs were definitely not the best.
-I feel quite ugly these days. Physically and mentally. Just a big dirty feeling that I think church and some good prayer would be able to cleanse.
-Immature and rude people

What is wrong with me??!?@##$% =(

I'm not as emotional as I sound, but my mind keeps wandering and these little annoying thoughts just keep popping in my little head.

I need some good food and a hug. And some A's on my report card.

I just thought about how Mr. Laging cried when we supposedly played American Elegy really well. Haha. Band is a joke now. I don't think I would've stuck with band if Liz wasn't in it. She even makes 2 hour band final periods somewhat enjoyable and less torturous by making me laugh uncontrollably in the middle of playing songs. Thanks Elizabeth<3

I'm tired, and I'll resume studying calc for our second to last final in our high school career.

True Love

I was talking to Sarah and she showed me this.
From the nicely put words of Mr. Schmus:

And remember, if someone really loves you, what would they want for you? They would want the best for you. They would want you to grow in your faith and draw near to God, and not be distracted from that. Does this boy really love you? I know he's fond of you. I know he would like to spend time with you. And again, that feels really good. But I suspect that is largely due to his own wants and needs, more than out of true love for you. If he loved you with the sacrificial love of Christ, he wouldn't pressure you. Wait for that love! His family putting pressure on you, the same is true for them. They love him, not you. I'm sure they like you, but they don't have your best interests at heart. It's not their fault—they don't know Him. Don't judge them for it. Just realize that real love is found in Him and through Him. What the world has to offer is a lame substitute—basically two people using each other to get their needs met. Hollywood tells us to think otherwise, but please know, true love is rare, and when it's found, God is as the center of it. It takes a heart of sacrifice and humility to truly love, and that takes the Lord.


Wow.

----------------------------------------------

Aside from all that sacrificial love..I feel the need to rant right now.

So this whole video project for our english final ended up in the toilet, and I don't even really know the real source of the problem except maybe i just have the sh!ttiest luck right now. But why the hell did I have to waste 15+ hours hauling ass when the rest of my group was at El Pueblo's pigging out, shopping, or playing xbox 360? This isn't the first time I let my peers take advantage of me. Every day or other day someone asks to see my homework/classwork or "hey, what was on the quiz?", and I've never EVER said no to anyone. I mean, I don't really mind if someone needs to copy calc homework because hey, calc is some real, hard stuff, and usually these people are either A) my friends and I actually talk/know them or B) they actually put in some effort in getting their homework done. But in English 4 and Econ, these kids feel the need to copy when our classwork is simply copying vocabulary words directly from the book. WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO REWORD THE DEFINITIONS! It couldn't get any easier than that.

Yes, I know that I chose to be in these "normal" classes, but I didn't choose to do everyone's effing work. And yeah, I know that I let people copy me, therefore I'm consenting and agreeing that these peers can use me, but in the end, I know that it's only detrimental to them and their future, not mine. I thought that if I didn't take AP Lit/Gov/Econ etc, I'd be a lot more chill with less work, but I guess that's just how life is right? The grass will always be greener on the other side, and we'll always be going through some type of obstacle which will ultimately result with the greater good in the (hopefully near) future.

I didn't get everything out, but I don't feel like ranting anymore.
Plus, I should've been memorizing calc formulas instead of blogging. =T
Good night <3

The Three Essential F's in Life

Number 1: Family
This one is, as my best friends would say, very "questionable" (well, at least for me right now). It's funny because today marks my third week, or rather third Sunday, attending church. I've been absolutely loving the sermons. They've all made me laugh out loud and were very memorable. So far, I've cried every time I've gone to church, but not because I was depressed, but because I was just so grateful, as cheesy as that sounds. When it was prayer time, Andrew immediately grabbed my hands and held them tightly. Then he started praying FOR ME. I realized that even when Andrew annoys me whenever he over-teases me, I still love him. He was the one who lead me the way to church, and without him, I would be the same girl who didn't care about going to church, but still considered herself to be labeled as a "Christian". Anyways, back to the main point. Although my real family seems to be broken, church has become my new family. Every week, we are asked to confess, either it be sins or something in our life that needs mending. I feel guilty for not opening up to anyone, especially at church where I know everyone will listen and pray for me, but I just feel that I'm not ready to tell these unfamiliar faces my life story. Maybe another day, but not any time soon. I'm surprised that I'm not even sad over my dad's poor judgment, but I. Just. Don't. Care! I guess it's both good and bad, but whatever. As my boyfriend says it.."I'll live."

Number 2: Friends
One thing that I don't think anyone in this world deserves to live without is friends. I have friends, but the ones dear to my heart are, of course, my best friends. I'd have to say that I'm pretty let down by my own best friends. I always managed my friends well and made sure that I didn't hang out with anyone who would be detrimental to my education, life, and most importantly, me. I share a rather..weird?..relationship with my male best friends. I see countless flaws in them, but I still love them to death. Even when it comes down to them losing their virginity, but I guess it's just a natural temptation that they just couldn't resist. I feel foolish for being so naive this entire time, but when I found out, I grew completely hateful towards them. I've cooled down after some long ranting. I even see many flaws within my boyfriend, but I see past all that and still love him and my best friends. I hope that everyone in this world meets their one "besty" or "BFFF" because being able to communicate through subtle notions like a quick glance and knowing that your significant best friend understands these notions is just funny and amazing. So it all comes down to Elizabeth, Wilson, Chris and Carder. I absolutely love them.

Number 3: Food
Don't laugh because it's true. You need food to live! Duh. =) But seriously, food is wonderful. I've spent nearly all my money on food this past week (and maybe the weeks before). One of the best feelings is when you satisfy yourself after a craving. Food always makes me happy..unless I intake too much of it, but other than that, I always find myself delighted when I eat. Gaud, I sound like an obese mother effer so I'll keep this section short. I had CPK yesterday with Wilson. Mm, I loved the pizza and pasta. And I had yogurt three times this week. 5-7 dollars each time..and it's just YOGURT. So you get the point. I love food.

Aside from the three F's..

I got asked to Winter Formal yesterday by Wilson like this:

We were watching Love Actually on Thursday, and I guess he took note of the scene when I said it was cute. I'm not that excited for Formal, but maybe because finals are this week. Killed ittt!

I think I'm going to write in this thing for reals this time. I need to keep a track of my daily life so that when I'm old and saggy..I'll reminisce and laugh/cry/smile.

Good night/morning!